Whelmed

I WISH I WAS HERE...

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"I know you can be overwhelmed, and you can be underwhelmed...can you ever just be whelmed?" -Quote from 10 Things I Hate About You.

I've come to the realization that it's hard to have so many things on your plate that you want to do well...and so many people you want to be around...and be able to take care of yourself at the same time. Definition: overwhelmed.

Yet...I walk on =-)

Two Reactions...

And here you have my 2 reactions

to Barack Obama's speech at the

Democratic National Convention in

Denver, Co

August 28, 2008

First off I must point out that the fact that I even put out the effort to watch the speech...only goes to show that not all conservatives are close minded. I was impressed with his speaking ability and was surprised that not everything that came out of his mouth was crap. By that I mean, that instead of simply saying the word 'change' in a few different ways without providing any sort of explanation about what that might mean or look like to the American people, he actually presented some of the things he wants to change such as education, health care benefits, limiting the outsourcing of American jobs, and providing benefits for soldiers who serve our country, & end the War on Iraq. The problem is that I'm still skeptical as to how all of this is going to take place. I feel like so many of Obama's ideals are intriguing, and that he is doing a good job of trying to unify the different parties, yet he's also avoiding a lot of the important issues by playing the fence to appease both sides.

So there you have it....impressed yet skeptical.

Sigh...

Wow, it feels like a million years since I've written. Life has been just a tad hectic lately. I guess that's just how it goes with me. I'm in my last semester of college, and that is terrifying and exciting all at the same time. My main goal is to finish strong. I am very close to graduating Magna Cum Lude, and I will be incredibly proud of myself if I do. I'll still be proud if I don't - but I know that I'm capable of accomplishing this goal. I was looking into ordering my graduation announcements, and as I looked at the proof, I almost teared up. I can't beleive that I've made it. I am going to be a college graduate...it's an insane feeling. It's crazy to think that I finally have a career path and I hope and pray that I will continue to be successful in my schooling and that I can get into a Master's Degree program that will afford me a positive experience. I am anxious to see how this next stage of my life will pan out, and my greatest hope is that I can manage to save up the money to sit back and relax a little and do some traveling. More importantly I hope that I will have someone to come with me!

I feel very greatful that I have had people who have come along side of me and supported me through all of my many adventures, successes and set backs. To the handful of people who have always found time to be there for me, I will never forget it. I am incredibly lucky to have so many wonderful people in my life.

As this exciting time of my life unfolds, I will do my best to update any new developments that come along!

Best wishes.

Some People's Kids...

There are times in life where you feel as though any decision that you make could be the wrong one. There are a few people in my life that have hurt me deeply in regards to either friendships or relationships, that I have since forgiven but am not sure I really care to have around in my life again. I'm torn between what attitude to have towards them. I've forgiven them in my heart, but will never be able to forget their actions. Is the right thing to do to just forget them and move on and give the 'ole cold shoulder? Or to embrace their attempts to keep in touch and perhaps rekindle an old friendship? It's tough to determine if a person has truly changed, and then there are those who possibly haven't changed but once held wonderful characteristics until they "messed up" in terms of friendship. Everyone messes up from time to time, but it's hard to know if they truly regret what they've done. Doesn't everyone deserve a second chance?

I'm typically the person who can be a bit of a pushover in this department, but I've recently been reevaluating that part of my life. Is it o.k to be selfish when it comes to friendships? Or should we have the loyalty of a golden retriever and offer forgiveness that might just mend a broken bridge or heart.

I guess it all comes down to a popular phrase..."hurt me once, shame on you, hurt me twice shame on me".

Tear Jerker

It's been awhile since I've seen a movie like this one, but I would recommend it to anyone looking for something good to watch. It's most definitely a tear jerker...but in the happy kind of way. It's refreshing and if you ever just need to have a "let it all out cry" this is the movie! The beginning of the movie was a little bizarre, but made sense in the end...This movie just 'clicked', there's a lot that can be learned by the lesson. It's not just a cheesy chick flick where everything is uber predictable. Watch it...you'll love it, and if not...oh well.

I have a big update coming soon, it might take some time to put all my words together eloquently but stay tuned!

Good News To Report...

1. I got an 'A+' on my research paper

2. School is out for Summer

3. So many family members have come to visit this year and I love every minute of it!

4. Next tuesday...it's going to be interesting, I can just feel it!

5. I'm learning how to play pool, and I'm not too shabby!

6. I love life!

I hate...

...Writing research papers...there are so many better things to write about than other people's ramblings. I love the research part because it's interesting...but when it comes to regurgitating what I've learned...I'm not the biggest fan...especially when that includes 20 freakin' pages of regurgiation!

Can anyone guess what I'm working on tonight??? The only good news to report is that as of 11:30 tomorrow....IT WILL BE COMPLETE!!! (insert happy face here =-)

Green light, yellow light, red light

So...many people might already know this, but for some it might be new information...from time to time I experience moderate to severe road rage...other drivers often aggravate me and I often find myself restraining from flipping people off for their idoicy. I do realize in my more rational moments that road rage is utterly pointless and only manages to get myself worked up over something that truly does not matter...but I had an ah-ha moment today...

You know when you're driving and you finally pass the slow poke in front of you only to get stopped at a red light? That's how I feel right now. Like I'm stopped at a red light with no where to go, no instructions on where to turn next, and in the midst of it all, I realize that suddenly I feel like I am the only one stopped. Everyone around me seems to have direction, they are traveling at top speeds to success, and I am stopped. And a little scared really. Most likely without reason...but nonetheless scared. Where am I going?

Smiles

Rockie's Game April '07

We Just 'get' each other!
Av's Game March '08
This makes us look like sports fans or something!
Fun times my friend...fun times!

I see the light...

Today I had a meeting with my advisor to make sure that everything was on track with my graduation plans, and I was pleasantly surprised that I was actually a little ahead of schedule!!! I thought I was going to have to take 5 or 6 classes to make sure that I met all my requirements in the fall and it turns out that I only have 7 credit hours left after the summer!!! AMAZING! I am going to take two classes and a 4 credit internship (which I still have to find by the way...so pray for that please!) I am so incredibly relieved that my final semester isn't going to be a huge stressful ordeal. It's weird to think that this has actually motivated me more...but it has and thank the Lord because I needed some motivation!

I also really hope that another situation in my life will end up working out because I think it would be so much fun and would me me a happy camper! We'll see though...I'm trying not to get my hopes up. =-)

Yippee.

Cysts and Tumors...please steer clear

Why is it that all of this is so complicated? Two family members in less than 6 months...

should I be afraid that I have horrible headaches?

Like a kid again...

Life is about the little things...and one thing that I will always love are those nostalgic feelings that remind me of being a kid. Well today that happened when i ate fun dip...I do have to admit the packaging has all changed but it still tastes the same!

Too bad all the fun stuff from being a kid couldn't come back... you know like incredibly limited responsibility or no bills to pay! Ah well...growing up does have it's perks huh?

Absent...but with a good excuse!

It's been way too long since I've written...I keep thinking of things to write about and then some how through out the day they escape my mind. But this last weekend I've been distracted because my mom came to visit me in Colorado! It was so great to get to spend some quality time with her! We had a girls weekend for sure and let me tell you it was well needed. We got to do some shopping (my belated b-day present) and we pampered ourselves with haircuts, pedicures and manicures, and finally a relaxing massage. We went to church together for Easter, and we saw Horton Hears a Who...my mom might be one of the only people who will still go see those silly kid movies with me...but I love them! =-) We also went to Golden to visit this quilt museum my mom wanted to see. It ended up being lame and not worth the six bucks (even she said so!), but at least she can say she went! All in all I love my mom tons and am so glad to be out of that teenage stage where it seemed most of our time was spent irritated with each other. It's fun to have a mom who is also your friend! She has been such a huge support with everything that has gone on lately. Only bummer is that dad couln't make it out as well. Maybe next time! I am actually really hoping to sneak a trip back to Cali this summer...I am dying to go waterskiing/wakeboarding and it's been way too long!!!!!!! The lake is calling me...I can already hear the boat engine rumbling and the smell of sunscreen is filling up my nostrils!

Well that's a mini update for now. I need to get my groove back for writing! But quite frankly I need to attempt to sleep at some point tonight and feel as though I'm going to really regret staying up this late tomorrow! But hey...you only live once right???

Sweet dreams

Plans...

Today I caught up with a friend that I met a few semesters ago in my English class, and we had a great time simply talking about life! It's interesting to me how easy it is to connect with some people, even though you don't see them on any sort of regular basis. I guess some people are just compatible like that!

We talked about anything and everything but one of my favorite topics we touched on was about the irony in life and trying to plan... It's ironic to think about how most of the time there is truly no sense in making plans because ultimately they are bound to change! It's so true, isn't it? Nothing in my life is how I invisioned it would have been 3 or 4 or 10 years ago. There are no plans that I can make that are gauaranteed to happen. In a way this is kind of exciting and a little bit thrilling because this creates the mystery that makes life fun.

My friend talked about one of her art projects where she had to start with a giant block of plaster/clay and chip away at it creating a work of art that did not resemble any object. The requirements were that at least 50% of the original block had to be extracted, and the object must have at least 3 different textures. As they worked on the project more and more, each person in the class began to create something entirely different than anyone else sitting around them. She talked about how at certain points in the project either she or one of her classmates would begin to chip away at their creation and something unexpected would happen. Either a tool would slip, the plaster was too weak and shattered, someone bumped into them in the middle of making a new adjustment, etc. At first the mistakes or unexpected changes were a nuicance and source of frustration, but as the artist continued to remold and adjust their plaster those nuicances became the best part of their creation. The most interesting or beautiful part of the project. The beauty was in the unexcpected.

It seems like a cheesy metaphor, but honestly if life can be viewed like one of those blocks of plaster then is it possible that there is beauty in the unexpected? Do the frustrations in life and the hard situations we experience have the potential to create something spectacular? I hope so...I really really hope so. Because isn't it those very things that make us stronger, aren't some of life's surprises the most fun? This silly example of the unpredicatability of life gave me peace today. I can't plan the future, and I have no clue what the future holds for me...but living day by day and enjoying the ride...it's then that I can look and see a masterpiece being created.

I don't think life is intended to be mapped out...but the roads we travel capture the good, the bad, the beautiful, the ugly...everything really, and ultimately each road brings us a little bit closer to our final destination. But traveling is the most fun...experiencing is after all what creates the memories.

A funny story to end the night

This is just a funny story to share because it made me smile today. One of my friends/coworkers has a 8 year old son who is pretty adorable...

Today after school he came running in the leasing office with his buddies and said to Siara (another friend/co-worker):

"We were getting off the bus and some kid did something illegal! We need to call the COPS, that boy just HIT A GIRL!"

I'm glad to see that it's now 'against the law' to hit a girl! ;-)

Yummy!

These are the delicious cookies I made tonight after the gym...

the trade off of calories was totally worth it!!!
You know you wish you were one of those sprinkles!

Missing...

Today I miss him...a lot. I tried to think of why this might be and I think it's because of the absence of touch I've been felt. It's amazing how much this one aspect can have on a person. I've always been a hugger, and I've always appreciated touch in my life. (approriate that is ;-) I guess I just got used to getting a hug almost every day, holding someone's hand, feeling his hand on the small of my back when we walked in a room...so many little things. So I guess in reality...I don't miss him...I just miss his touch. Sigh...

Tuesdays are fabulous! Work is generally boring..but after work...magic happens...o.k. I'm not sure if it's magic but I always feel so fantastic on Tuesdays because Tuesdays are SALSA NIGHTS!!! At 24 there is an awesome cardio salsa class that I've been going to for about a month. I'm a horrible dancer, but this class is so much FUN and sometimes I actually feel like I do all right!!! The rules are...don't look at your feet, sweat and have fun. None of these things are hard to do, this class will kick your butt. But afterwards I always feel great! I love it, so I just had to share!

Something else I love...breakfast for dinner! Can't get much better =-) Eggs with cheddar cheese, sausage, and some amazing orange juice full of pulp! Yummmy!

Do you believe???

Yesterday was a good day and I never got the opportunity to write about it, so I’m backtracking a bit. Lately, I’ve been stressed, and emotionally overwhelmed with anything and everything. I’ve been taking way too many things personally and felt the need to change the world before it ceased to exist. (O.k obviously not possible…but do you ever have those days when you just see everything wrong with the world…) Basically I haven’t been a very positive thinker and I’ve been trying my hardest to get out of this awful funk (see earlier post) because no one, especially me wants to feel like this. Well yesterday it happened! I left the funk! I don’t really know what came over me but I had a great day. I woke up early to finish a project for school and it took me less time than I expected. Then everything went smoothly at school and despite me deep urge to skip class, I went, and actually enjoyed my time. In my last class (Communication & the Elderly) we watched Grumpy Old Men, and before you doubt the academic credibility of this class time, please understand that this movie is definitely useful in evaluating some of the stereotypes that accompany the elderly public. Plus it is quite hilarious, and I had forgotten just how good it was so that was an added bonus! The next statement that I’m going to make might be laughable…but hear me out. This movie honestly helped me believe in love. Hahahahaha…o.k. the laughing is over, I hope you enjoyed the moment! ;-) But honestly, in addition to the ‘age’ theme that runs through the film, there is also a theme of love that managed to bring me hope.

It is so easy for me to see all of the couples who are failing at making the marriage commitment because it seems like they are everywhere…and I mean EVERYWHERE!!! A few years back I watched 2 young marriages fall apart because one of the people wasn’t committed. The next year I heard that my aunt and uncle who were married for over 20 years were separating, and now it seems like anyone and everyone I know is cheating on their significant other/spouse or being cheated on. It sucks. It’s very hard to stay positive when devastation is all that you seem to see, no matter where you look.

But then I started to think…what about all of the people doing it right! While there is definitely corruption in some marriages, and sometimes they fail...there are so many others that are flourishing. People who have truly made lifetime committments! These are the people to look up to! My grandparents, parents, many aunts and uncles, families from church etc., Mark & Shan, Kym & Andy, Maggie & Joe, Wayne & Krista, Doug & Alayna...the list could honestly go on...and on...this makes me excited about the future. I was beginning to think that this dream that I've had since I don't know...forever...was pretty much doomed to fail, but then I realized there are still many people out there that respect marriage and I'm super excited to have these people in my life because one day my dream is going to come true and I will be married to an amazing man. Then I know I will look up to them even more as examples of what love is really all about!

I BELIEVE IN LOVE! Yup..it's true. I've never truly been in love, I'm not in love now, but someday I will be and when that day comes...I BELIEVE!!!

This is a minute long clip from an episode of Scrubs that basically sums up what I've written...I found this a long time ago and find that it relates to my life in a new way...enjoy!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IINn0UatJPE&feature=related

Broken - Tift Merritt

Great song...will reflect later...