It still exists...

So I officially can only blog from my email, because it's been so long, I have forgotten all the info that I used to create & sign in to my last blog.  I think I might just go out on a limb and create a new one.  But we will see.  It's amazing as I browse through this blog, how much I've changed, and how scatter brained my goals and ideas seem.  As I wait to hear back from my grad school applications I can only imagine how this trend will either continue or hopefully come to an end.  I want so badly to establish some consistency in my life, and yet chaos is generally what ensues.  Maybe consistency is too boring haha.  Who knows.  I truly believe that there is a greater purpose for my life...just wish it might make itself a little more clear...any day now!

--
-Michelle N. Crandell

It's Been So Long...

I need to start writing again.  It helps me make sense of my thoughts.  I will attempt to post at least once a week in 2010.  We'll see what I can do with December! =-)  But for now I'm on vacation so until the 10th I'm in Denver!

 

Merry Christmas!

It worked!

Well I must say that is quite convenient!  I have a feeling I'm going to like blogging from my e-mail!  Who knew it could be so exciting...not really sure why it feels different other than it's a little easier to format!  What ever makes you happy right?  It IS all about the little things in life! 

 

So a rather huge update is in order.  First off, I've been home for almost 2 months now, and it's insane to think about!  The road trip home, was certainly a memory maker, my parents, grandparents, their 2 dogs and me were all in the motor home.  We made it home in 4 days (which at times felt like an eternity) but let me tell you crossing the California State line was amazing!  It was very exciting for 2 reasons.  1st off it meant that we were almost home, and 2nd California is GREEN!!!!  After 3 days of driving through desolate deserts I was so happy to see trees and flowers and basically anything besides dirt and bare mountains! 

 

After returning home, getting my belongings in a storage unit and setting up my room at my parent's house, I began the job hunt.  I had a lead for a job as a Human Resources assistant, that didn't end up working out, and for lack of other opportunities I've landed myself back in the restaurant industry at Romano's Macaroni Grill in Stockton.  I needed a job, and it pays well [if you work hard], so there you have it.  Until I can get into a program to earn my teaching credentials, this is where I am.  And I'm o.k with it.  I have much to be thankful for, and luckily my employer seems quite happy with me, as I've only been working there 3 weeks and they are already making me a closer!  Crazy!  I'm very grateful for that opportunity because it makes my 45 minute drive worth it to be there! 

I've also made an addition to my family by adopting a new puppy!  He is a Jack Russel Terrier / Beagle Mix, named 'Denver'.  He's a bundle of energy and at times a little terror, but for the most part he is so much fun to have around.  He definitely keeps me on my toes and provides comic releif quite frequently!  I love having a dog again, which is something that I missed out on in Denver (Colorado that is ;-), luckily my parents have been helpful in puppy training!

 

The next things on my plate are getting established as a substitute teacher, and getting into a teacher credentialling program, so that I can (finally and hopefully) begin a career!  That would be something short of a miracle!  I just hope I end up loving teaching as much as I'm assuming I will.  I still have yet to determine what grade level or age group that I want to teach, so hopefully I will find guidance in that area, but other than that, God-willing, in 2 - 2 1/2 years I should be a teacher!  Fun fun fun! 

 

Lastly, I have begun to look at houses.  I want to look for awhile and get a firm grasp of the features that I want in a house established before I buy anything.  However, I would also like to take advantage of Obama's $8,000 tax credit this year so I will need to end up purchasing a home before December 1, 2009.  So I'm thinking some time around September would be good.  I will still be nice outside, and I'll make the deadline for the tax credit!  It is a blessing to live at home and have my expenses cut in 1/2; it will be the perfect opportunity to save up for my own home! 

 

I think that pretty much brings me up to date, hopefully I'll be better at blogging now that I have a normal schedule!
--
-Michelle N. Crandell

This is a test...

I'm attempting to make a post via e-mail...this is all very interesting, isn't technology cool?

--
-Michelle N. Crandell

Packing, Packing and more Packing

I have officially run out of places to pack things! O.k...I guess that is a stretch, but seriously I'm running out of boxes and I've gone through 4 newspapers and still need more! I think this is a sign that I have too much stuff.



My parents and grandparents will begin their trek to Denver tomorrow morning, so it's sink or swim time. I'm trying to have as much as possible done before they get here so that they don't have to work so hard, but I have a feeling they might end up helping out a little. Hopefully just with cleaning. That's the only thing that I can't seem to fit in the packing schedule.



Tomorrow night I get a break from all the packing because me and the BFF are headed to the Pepsi Center to see RASCAL FLATTS! I'm so excited! I love their music and always have fun at concerts so it should be a fun way finish out the week!


*So I've tried 4 times to upload pics for this post...needless to say it's not going to happen tonight. I'll try to add them later. =-)

5 Days...The emotional rollercoaster begins

In 5 days my world is about to flip upside down as I make the 1800 mile move back to California in less than a week. I am confident in my decision but the emotions are finally seeping into play as I accept the fact that I can no longer ignore them. I have been incredibly lucky and fortunate to meet some truly amazing people and I've made a million memories in Denver that I hope I never forget.

I think that the scariest part of all of this is the uncertaintly. I am doing my best to place my faith and trust in God's hands but my ability to do that wavers from moment to moment. I've made the statement approximately 10 million times this week, and I'll say it again..."It's going to be an interesting year."

He's Just Not That Into You...

Just a few thoughts about the movie...

I guess the most important critique is that this movie is definitely cute/adorable/happy-go-lucky, etc. etc. It certainly fits in the category of chick-flick, as if there was any question, so you certainly have to be in the mindset for that genre of movie to fully enjoy the flick.

What I liked about this movie is that it over-emphasized the different stereotypes that so many men & women fall into when it comes to dating - which was both humorous and at times thought provoking. Sometimes it's easier to recognize our own behavior when we see it in someone else. My second favorite aspect of this movie is that at the end of the day (o.k movie) each an every person / couple had a different way of finding one another or thereselves; which I believe ultimately has to happen for someone to fully experience love.

I also loved that the theme of the movie encompassed an idea of hope. All the while everyone's story is different, we all find our way. =-)

Finding my way...

This morning I walked about 3 miles at James A. Bible park, which is within walking distance from my house. I cruised around the park a couple of times, and then as I was headed back to my apartment, I decided to take a different way back. I had an idea where it lead, but wasn't 100% sure of the final destination. I figured, "what the heck" I have all day to get lost if that's the case. As I was observing the world around me I recognized that this was the first time that I didn't know where I was going, and it didn't anger me. It actually brought me joy. As I tossed this idea back and forth in my mind, I realized that no matter where you are in life, the path will always lead you home, where ever that might be.

Sometimes the things that seem so complicated, can at the same moment be so simple.

It's Official, I'm a college graduate!

Back to Square 1

So in response to my previous post...yet again there was already another offer on the condo so as the contestants of a popular game show would say, "NO DEAL". I am supposedly next in line, if anything falls through, but let's just say I'm not holding my breath. So I'm on the hunt again. I'm not going to lie...I find this process incredibly annoying. I wish that the listing agents would mention it to my realtor when she calls to schedule a showing, just out of courtesy. I'm doing my best not to get emotionally involved, but for goodness sakes I have to have some emotion...I'm making the biggest purchase of my life thus far! Sigh. I'm just tired of finding something that is in my price range, that happens to be in good shape and has the features I'm looking for...only to find out I can't have it. Something else I find intriguing...I thought we were in a housing CRISIS? Apparently, the crisis is that everyone is buying what I want. O.k. now I sound spoiled. haha.

On a happier note...I have one more final and I am officially done with my undergraduate degree. On Sunday December 14, 2008 I will have my B.A. in Speech Communication with an emphasis in Communication Theory and a minor in Nutrition. If that isn't a mouthful I don't know what is!

And on an even happier note...Katie will be here Friday, and Mom, Dad, Grandma W, Grandma C, Grandpa, Martha, and Norman will all be here Saturday!

What a hoot! I'm super excited to have everyone here to celebrate!

Excitement

I'm putting in an offer on my new home (thinking positive here)!!!! I'm hoping and praying that their are no other offers (that happened with the last one I looked at). I'm nervous and excited at the same time. Mom told me from the beginning that I shouldn't get emotionally attached until I know that the house is mine, and in my defense I did my best to stay strong...but I LOVE IT!!! Love it, love it, llllllloooooovvvvveeee it! I forgot the camera today so I don't have any pictures...but if all works out well there will soon be plenty of pictures to view! It is a beautiful top floor condo (great views), 2 bedrooms and 2 baths plus a den. The master bathroom has a sunken tub (There is a God!), and all of the appliances are included. I can't wait to be able to do laundry in my own home again!

I know the last thing I need is a distraction from finals...but maybe it is exactly what I needed. Thank you Lord for shinning a little light in dark place! (o.k. no need to be dramatic it's not as bad as I make it sound)

Stay tuned for more information!

The HIGHS and the lows...

It's funny to observe the anticipation of an event encompassing every fiber of your being to an extent that causes you to wonder if the next moment will bring laughter, tears, frustration or joy. This last month especially, has seemed to reflect the course of a rollercoaster more than usual. I have so many changes that I anticipat occuring in my life that it is hard to know whether to put my right foot in front of my left, or my left foot in front of my right. I feel that ultimately which ever step that I take, I will end up in the perfect spot...but taking that leap of faith is presenting itself as quite a challenge!

What goes down...must come back up!

Thanksgiving Memories...

The holidays are all about making memories, right? Well that is what I set out to do yesterday! First off, some friends and I started a new tradition of running in the Turkey Trot on Thanksgiving morning. It's a 4 mile run/walk put on by the United Way Chairity group. I had a lot of fun, it was a great way to start the day! Hopefully we will continue to do it each year. After the race we all parted ways to our seperate Thanksgiving day festivities.

The second memory of the day was my attempt at making my first apple pie. What a kick. For some reason I had it in my head, that this would be a simple task...but have no fear I found a way to make it complicated! Essentially the process was simple aside from the pesky crust. After several failed attempts of getting the dough to stick together and roll out in somewhat of a circle I managed to get 75% of the crust off at one time and I figured that was going to have to work! The moral of the story...use lots of flour on the cutting board, and be patient. After a good laugh with my mom, we decided that I would have pie crust making lessons when I'm home for Christmas! The one success story is that despite the looks, the pie tasted fantastic!

The evil dough and flour...

The Finished Product...(Keep in mind this was after running!)What a mess...$5.99 at Safeway is sounding pretty good about now.
Haha...the close up really does the crust justice. The patch jobs were quite humourous to me!

I hope everyone had a fabulous Turkey Day!

Trying something new!

So Windows Vista is pretty snazzy, and you can now type your blog posts in Word and have them published to your Blogger account. I have yet to try it, but thought I would give it a whirl. So far I really don't quite see the advantages…but I imagine there is still a lot to be learned.

Yeah...it's no different. I did some simple formatting and none of it showed up...kind of lame. Oh well. I guess if you don't have an internet connection you can still blog. Maybe that is the benefit!

So exciting news...27 Days & Counting!

Things finally seem to be winding down and coming to an end. This is incredibly exciting, but is bringing up some of the tough questions. I am again battling with the question of whether or not I should stay in Co or go to Ca. I thought I had made my decision, and now I'm just not sure. I feel like I'm choosing between gold and gold. How do you judge two good things against one another? I don't know. I guess I need to go back to my original idea...don't worry about it yet! Sometimes my anal tendencies come out. I like to pretend that I've got everything all figured out and when I don't...my brains come unraveled. Sigh...

Excuse me Senioritis...Now that we've met, can I please excuse myself?

O.k, so it's gotten to the time of the semester where I am literally praying for sanity and motivation to finish out this last month! Thank goodness for faith and having something to believe in! I am in the final stretch of the semester and my motivation to make time for anything remotely related to school is at an all time low. My graduation announcements are out, people have scheduled their flights, I've got my cap and gown and commemorative tassel. Isn't it time to walk the plank, I mean the stage?

"No," you say. "Despite your daily and often hourly reminders that there is still much to be done, you continue to ignore the fact that you still have a giant research proposal to finish, a training handbook to create for my internship and final exams to complete!"

Sigh...I'm having conversational dialogues with myself...that can't be good.

More updates to come, please excuse my ranting!

Update...school, work, house???

So I've got a month and 21 days until Graduation! The days are certainly dragging, but the projects are coming together slowly and surely. Once Thanksgiving comes around, it will be all down hill from there! Now that is something to be thankful for! =-) I'm really excited for the next stage of my life, and I can't wait to graduate and leave my job!!!

I was offered a promotion at the end of August to begin in September, and accepted the position with the arrangement that I would be creating a training program for the company, and take on additional training responsibilities and a few other tasks to help the managment. Along with the additional work load, I was supposed to recieve a $1-2 dollar raise. This position is doubling as my internship for school, so I have to continue with the job eventhough THEY HAVE NOT INCREASED MY WAGES!!! The company I work for has NO integrity. After talking to my manager (who has no influence on the pay raise) about my concern, she informed me that because this job is dependant on my internship, it's possible that they are not giving me the pay raise, because they figured I would do the job either way. Really? This only goes to show how little they value their employees and confirms the fact that I do not want to continue being a part of it in any way shape or form.

But the beautiful thing about all of this is that I have been encouraged to move on! I am hoping to take a year or at least a semester off from school, and then go back to attain my graduate degree in Educational Counseling. I hope to start working in the school district next year so that I can start networking. Depending on what positions they have available (Paraeducator, Avid Tutor, Admin, Substiture) I will probably work a few nights a week at a local restaurant so that I can start saving!

Save for what you might ask? Well I will soon be entering the world of homeownership! I have been pre-approved for a loan, and I'm officially on the market for a townhome! I'm excited to have a place to truly call my own! I won't have to worry about rent increases every year (yay for apartment life) I can have a dog! I can customize things to look how I want them to! It's all very exciting. I have found a few places that I'm interested in, and I'm in contact with a real estate agent, so it should be interesting to see what I find! =-)

Well that's my update! Hopefully more good news will follow!

On my knees...

Jeremy Riddle - Sweetly Broken (From the album Sweetly Broken)

"To the cross I look, to the cross I cling
Of its suffering I do drink
Of its work I do sing
For on it my Savior both bruised and crushed
Showed that God is love
And God is just

At the cross You beckon me
You draw me gently to my knees, and I am
Lost for words, so lost in love,
I’m sweetly broken, wholly surrendered
What a priceless gift, undeserved life
Have I been given
Through Christ crucified
You’ve called me out of death
You’ve called me into life
And I was under Your wrath
Now through the cross I’m reconciled

In awe of the cross I must confess
How wondrous
Your redeeming love and
How great is Your faithfulness

*It's amazing how amazingly simple life can be when you put things in perspective and get your priorities straight.

blank....

Burn out sucks...

I feel incredibily confused...

I am emotionally and physically exhausted...

Blank.

(But isn't this picture beautiful???)

A spark...now I need a flame

I finally got away from my awful rut and was able to get a few things accomplished in regards to my school work. I find that when I'm able to get out of the house I have a much easier time concentrating. Enter: Panera Bread, it's no library, but they have free wi-fi and provided a quzi-healthy dinner, a combination that can't be beat. The atmospher is actually pretty calming, soothing music, just enough background noise, that you're not nervous to turn a page, it would have been perfect had the just stayed open a little later. I only got an hour and a 1/2 of work done because they closed at 8:00. It was a much needed boost, and I wish it had lasted longer, but I feel that any small feet is something to be celebrated.

I'm so ready to graduate it's not even funny, so focusing has been a little bit challenging lately. What bothers me the most is that I'm distracted by nothingness. Sometimes it's important errands, and tasks that I need to get done, but more often than not, it's stupid stuff, like watching TV or a new movie, or surfing the web for things that are irrelevant. One thing that is wonderful to report, is that my credit balance is incressingly dwindling. I have a few major accounts that I will keep open, but my lasik is almost paid off, and I'm feeling like my goal of reducing the number of accounts is coming closer by the day! Yay...

Another great thing, is that I've started creating goals to accomplish after I graduate, so that I'm able to keep busy and enjoy a year off from school before going back to get my master's degree. I am still keeping my eyes and ears open for possible grad schools, but I'm definitely going to apply to UNC (University of Northern Colorado) and APU (Azusa Pacific University). I'm pretty determined I'll either be in Colorado or California, but I will definitely keep my options open. I limited myself to great proportions for undergrad, and not that I regret it, but I always wonder if I would have made the same decision if I had kept my options more open.

Here's to the future!

Step by step, piece by piece

It's amazing to see how far you've come as an individual and to look back on who you have been. Occasionally I wonder if it's even possible that I am remotely the same person I once was, and then other days I feel like I haven't changed a bit. Reality...each day becomes an important piece of who I am. Someday maybe I'll be who I really want to be...but for now...this is as good as it gets!