pslam 63:5

"I will be content as if I had eaten the best foods. My lips will sing, and my mouth will praise you."

Contentment. Life is what is dealt to you. What you do with it after that...is your decision.

can't someone amazing just enter my life and fall in love with me? just a thought!

How do you prevent yourself from breaking your own heart? Is it possible to love and hate someone at the same time? Why the pain? It's all my fault anyway....this is what happens when you believe in something....that will never happen. Blah blah blah...time to hang my heart back up and lock the key. Would that make up for the pain? or just make it hurt worse?

I'm so freakin' excited! I'm moving out into my own appartment tenatively on October 11th/13th!!! I couldn't be more thrilled! I've been waiting for this for so long, and it will be so amazing to have my own space and get to decorate and all that jazz! Have people over you name it! Maybe I'll even get a cat...haha...that won't happen for awhile, but I could if I wanted to! hehe Anyways...I'm starting to get little things here and there for it, and I have some stuff. It's just the big stuff that will end up killing me. I need furniture bad. And I don't want to get cheap(quality) stuff, because I'd like it to last me awhile...so I think I'm gonna check out furniture row and their no interest 'til 2010 deal. That would pretty much be freakin' amazing! I just can't believe it! I'm so freakin' pumped! WWWAAAAHHHHOOO! O.k...that's all. If anyone has ideas on how to get nice but inexpensive furniture...let me know!

Wonder away...

Do you ever wonder if the reason you're still single is because you never replied to those dumb chain e-mails that tell you if you don't reply you're gonna have 1 million years of bad luck, no one will ever like you and you're never gonna get kissed again....haha...I never respond to those things!?!?!?! Is that why I'm screwed....??? I'm totally kidding...but I just thought that was pretty freakin' hillarious. Whenever I see those I have to stop and wonder if the person who sent it really thought it would come true...

Actually I'm really trying to avoid writing about what I'm really feeling....sigh

I need pills or something...

I'M A FREAKIN INSOMNIAC.....why the crack can't I fall asleep. My body is exhausted and my mind is racing 1000 m.p.h and I feel like I have this adrenaline flowing through my blood, but I'm yawning and my body feels tired...like a giant weight. All I can do is toss and turn and think of things I was supposed to do today or whatever....AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAA

If you couldn't tell...this is driving me nuts!!!

Random Ramblings

I start school tomorrow! I'm nervous/excited/stressed! My life is about to go into over time with working full time and going to school full time. I'm excited and I know I'll be able to handle it...it just seems like so much! Hopefully all goes well...One thing is for sure...there sure seems to be lots of drama going on...what the heck is going on with the world....btw I CAN'T SLEEP....so dumb! I have to wake up early...and I can't stinkin' sleep! BLAH....I'm going to try again...I'm watching episodes of friends that I've seen millions of times...and I still can't fall asleep...too late for tylenol p.m....Oh I also can't stop thinking about having my own place. I think I'm really ready to move out. I just want to wait until I settle into school...My friend said that apartment prices usually decrease in October/the fall season, so I'll probably wait 2 months....but omg I'm getting impatient. I NEED MORE SPACE! Hopefully I can find a great deal that will make everything better! And put my mind at ease for all the things I'm trying to consider cost wise. So much for sleep.....o.k...time to go really.....I'll give an update about school tomorrow.

Fun Night

So this weekend I went on the youth worker retreat with the other adults @ Bear Valley. It was pretty fun. I realized that I have some thinking to do about my place in the ministry but that's for another night or time...whatever.

But tonight, Christina and I both had the night off, so we went downtown and saw Dukes of Hazard, and went to Rock Bottom Brewery. Dukes of Hazard was pretty much what I expected....o.k...but nothing amazing. Nothing to write home about that's for sure! But it was entertaining, and there were some awesome car scenes....so at least for me who knows nothing about cars, it was cool. What is it about boys and cars??? haha. We were going to try something new down town, but it was cold and starving, so we decided to go to Rock Bottom, there was a wait so we sat in the bar, which was cool...I like their bar atmosphere, it was laid back but busy so there was a lot going on. Anyways, the food was awesome and we just talked about things that weren't depressing, for the first time in awhile. (She's going through a hard time with her husband, and my life is just in a weird/crazy/kinda depressing stage) So it was fun to just be care free and crap and not have to be stressed! Such a great feeling! ;) That's all, just a fun night! I'm going to go to bed b4 2 am on a Saturday for the first time in so long (usually I'm closing @ "The Bird"). OH....btw....can't wait to be 21! I'm so excited, because it sounds like our trip to Vegas is actually going to work for my 21 b-day! If we all have the money we want to get a hotel on the strip and then we can just go all out...and not have to worry about getting hammered...hmmm...did I just admit that! haha For all you mom's out there (because I know I'm one) we'll be safe and not stupid...=) 139 days and counting! lalalalalalala

so frustrating

I'm falling in love, and I can't get up.....I hate this about myself. I care so much about people...and then I don't know what to do....and most the time....there's never a good chance...and now I'm left to cry myself to sleep at night...that doesn't make any sense in writing....but in my head it's crystal clear. IT SUCKS...hurt's so bad and there's no one to blame the pain on...but myself...dang-it.

weird

So I've been a major slacker...but I have an excuse! Da - da - da - don! Well first off, I was in Cali for 2 1/2 weeks and then...I got home and was scheduled out the wazoo at work and I really just recooperated from that on tuesday after I had my day off! Since then I've been working some more...and I will be working lots this weekend. I've certified in two different positions at work, so that's pretty cool, and I've just been hangin out catching up on stuff here...Oh wait...one last thing that's really pretty important...

I'm accepted and registered to attend Metro! Halleluja! (sp?...I should really know..but whatever!) The one glitch in this whole story is that my biggest nightmare came true. They classified me as an out of state student. So now I get to send in my life history since I've moved to CO (seriously...I'm not even kidding, bank statements, sources of income, car registration, you name it, they want it...it's really dumb if you ask me!) Not to mention the fact that I have to get my signature notorized, as if someone else would care this much about me being an in state student! HA! Whatever, at least the good news is that I have all the information that they need and hopefully it will prove to their incompatent registrars office that I am an in-state student and I've been living in Colorado for over 2 years now...(hard to believe really, but it's freakin' true!)

So assuming that all goes well and my classification is changed (b/c there is no way in h - e double hocky sticks that I'll be paying 5K to go to a state school)...I'll be taking nutrition (which counts as a science class - pretty cool if you ask me), Intro to Business, History of something or other (it counts as 6 credits because it meets both the history and this multicultural requirement that I have to take!) I think that the fact that I'm from Sacramento should count as my multicultural credits... but for some reason I don't think that will fly with anyone! (that was not meant to be derogatory in anyway, I love that I'm from a cultured city!), Macro Economics, and Applied Hotel and Restraunt Operations...which is something just to take for fun and for interest in possible working in restraunts (beyond serving - of course) later in life...supposedly it's pretty cool, you go around to different restaurants and hotels and take tours...yeah I'll take college credit for that thank you! So anyways...it's 15 units, so it's more than I was thinking of taking...but I think I'm going to like it! Yeah great fun!

Well I think that really is officially all of the new news that I have for anyone (which I think is really no one) that reads this blog...really it's for my own knowledge that something is happening in my life! Yippeee~

The count down begins...

I leave for Cali in 2 days! I couldn't be more excited! Actually I'll probably be more excited tomorrow, and then a little more excited on Sunday...and then I'll be extatic once I land in Sacramento on Monday...so I guess it does get better than this...haha

Tonight's shift went pretty well. I was certifying a new team member (so that she can be a server) for the first 2 hours of my shift so I had someone else making money for me...which is kinda weird, but cool..haha, and then once she finished up I went on the floor and had a pretty good night. So it was a long day because I never left RR once I got their at 11:30...and I walked out the doors around 12:15...so that make for a long day. I already have 6 hours of over time this week...and I"m supposed to close tomorrow...interesting...I should probably tell a manager...we'll see if they care...I never get a pay check anyways...because of lovely taxes. NEWays....I'm tired and rambling and I think I'll go fall asleep to a movie...I have the morning off tomorrow so that should be lovely!

sweet!

Funny twist

So tonight I thought I was really in for a trip when I got a 25 top at 9:45 (15 mins before we closed) and although it did keep me a little later than I would have hoped...let's just say that things aren't always as they seem! So it was a baseball team and there were quite a few kids and a bunch of parents, well they were all really nice and the kicker is that... it turns out that the guy who was buying dinner was a close friend of Mike Synder (the head hancho at the corporate office, I want to say that he's like president/C.E.O of the company, but I'm not entirely sure...) The guy who paid for the dinner got both my name and the Manager on Duty (Jimmy), so I think he's going to be telling him good things about us! I was pretty excited about that! Not to mention I got a fifty dollar tip! That was pretty nice, and let's face it made it worth if for me!

Well I'm counting down the days! 6 days until I get to go home for 2 1/2 weeks!!! I'm so freakin' excited! I can't wait! I'm going to get in as much sunshine, fun and wakeboarding...jet skiing...catching up with friends as I can! I couldn't be more pumped! It's also going to be really great to get a little break from work! I'm not going to lie! I need a break, eventhough I do really enjoy my job...it's time for a breather! hehe

I think that's all for now...I'm going to relax and enjoy my malibu and oj! ;)

I'm a slacker...

So I've gotten a little lazy about posting...but that's partly because I've been busy as a bee lately! Yay for that! So I went to the T3 which was my final sha bam to become a trainer at my restaurant, and it was a lot of fun! I'm really excited about training so it should be great fun! I just have to complete a homework assignment for my restaurant specifically and then I get my pin! I already have my key though...it's a red robin thing...I don't know...

Anyways, I'm getting really pumped about going home to Cali for 2 1/2 weeks! I leave in 12 days! I couldn't be more excited! Yay!

Well I'm going to go sit out and tan for awhile, and then tonight I'm hangin out with Christina! Sweet deal! I have to work a ton this weekend so I'm using all my free time to relax and get pumped for the weekend! Hopefully it'll be busy and I can make some good mula! Yippee!

That's all she wrote.

The Group! Yay...CDT's. 

Steven, Jenn, Casey 

Trevor, Me, Mike and Crystal 

Tony & Crystal @ Rockies Game 

Rockies Game Tonight...

So I had the day off from work....sorta. I had a meeting at 2 and then a bunch of the CDT's are going to the Rockies game tonight! I'm excited! We'll see how it goes, I'm nervous about getting to close to anyone...just because it seems like that's when you start getting hurt...but I'm afraid that if I don't just get over it...then I'll get left out, and I don't want that. So i know it sounds weird but let's just say that it's out of my comfort zone and I'm a tad uncomfortable, but I'm going to get over it and just deal with everything. Why does everything have to be so complicated with me? huh? I just don't get it. Blah...anyways...

I left some stuff in Christina's car and so I ran by her work to get it and then we both had a little free time so we went to lunch @ Wingman...best place ever! So that was fantastically fun, a little bit rushed b/c I had to get to the meeting at 2 but it's all gravy. What else...

I think I've been complaining too much lately...I just need to change my attitude. It's time to be excited about life. WaaaaHoooo... O.k...on that note, I hope tonight is fun!

Peace out....haha....I just said that...

So it's been awhile...

So all of last week I was staying at Russel and Chrisitina's condo because they were in Nashville, Tennesse, having loads of fun at the National Pastor's convention. So I enjoyed they're tivo, big bed, and just some time to my self with lots of room! Yay!

So far this week has gone by fast. Monday nights I'm now scheduled to be a closer at work so that's pretty cool! I do have to admit I was getting a little burnt out with work last week and on Saturday I was just fed up...but so far this week has been a lot more smooth and I only have 2 more shifts to work this week, so I have a little bit lighter week and that's helped to calm my frustrations.

Oh...on Sunday I got pulled over for the first time for speeding...but I got lucky and had a nice cop pull me over and he just gave me a lecture and gave me a break. So that was a good thing considering I had just paid for my plane ticket home and my car insurance...I would have hated to pay another hefty bill on top of all that. Blah! Anyways...It was an undercover cop though....he was in a silver camero...sneaky...very sneaky.

So tonight was our last small group with these kids and I do have to say that I'm just a tad bummed. I really have loved spending time with these kids and it's really great to see them growing up and moving onto high school. But I guess there's a time for everything to end, maybe the next group of kids will be just as cool...we'll just have to find out!

Well I guess that's all...adios.

Sunday...the day of rest!

So today I got to sleep in! Yay!!! It was youth Sunday at church so I didn't have to be there for both services...so I just went to the 10:40 service! Yay for that. It was really great all the kids did a great job, they led worship, communion, ushered and lead offering. And Russel (My good friend/Jr. high Pastor) preached! He did a great job and everything went very smoothly for him. It was his first time speaking @ "Big Church" so he was pretty nervous...but handled his nerves well. Yay for him. Oh at church we (Christina and I after church was done) also ran into Will and Lindy and their new baby Whitney, and got to hold her and chat with them for awhile, so that was fun, it seems like that baby was just born yesterday and she's already 7 weeks old, but she's starting to develop more character, and can smile and make baby noises so she's super de duper cute! After church we went to Taco Bell and saw 1/2 of the church there...(o.k that's obviously an exaggeration...but there were quite a few people we knew/recognized)

Later on Christina and I ran some errands and then we came back for a mini celebration of Lynn's (colorado-adopt-a-mom) b-day which is tomorrow. We had bananna pie and it was SO GOOD! Then we went back to R&C's condo and they packed and we headed for the airport. They are going to Nashville, TN to volunteer at the National Pastor's Convention. So they'll be gone this week and then I'll pick them up bright and early next Sunday at 8am in time to get them back for church on Sunday...I'm sure they'll be just a tad exhausted. The cool thing is that I get a key to the condo while they're gone, so if I want to have my own space every now and then I can! Yay for that! I'm excited. It's nice to just have my own space that isn't confined in my ity-bity room from time to time. So sad they're leaving...but I know they'll be back! And until then I get to have fun at their house! =)

Tomorrow I have to be at work super early to watch a training class, then I work a double (with follows (a.k.a people training...it should be interesting.) Hopefully it goes by quickly because for some odd reason, I have tuesday and wednesday off. I don't mind...I just hope I don't get bored! I'm planning on working out at the gym and doing some reading...who knows what I'll do the rest of the time! We'll just have to see...stay tuned for updates!

Old Chicago...

So today after wasting a whole morning of doing nothing...[I was so bored, by the way]...I worked tonight and had a good shift...not to busy and I still made 90 bucks. Yay! Anyways I went out to Old Chicago with some people after work...let's just say it was very fun (lots of laughs) and very interesting all at the same time. That's all I'm gonna say...I honestly don't know what else to say...

Downtown Fun...

So today was a good day! Christina called around noon and she had a break between her finals, so I went downtown and had lunch with her! It was really fun because we hung out on campus for awhile, and then walked to the cheesecake factory! I also picked up an application! So that's pretty cool, I'm so excited to go to Metro State! It's such a fun enviornment, not a super friendly place...but not unfriendly. There's just a lot of people I guess. And there are so many choices for majors that I'm sure I won't have a hard time figuring out what to major in! I also found out that I can major in Art with a concentration in Photography! How cool would that be? I'm starting to really think that I might be able to do this! We'll just have to see! Let's just say I'm excited! Oh...and I'll be taking Sign Language! How cool is that! I'm excited!

Anyways that's about it...I worked this evening and it was an interesting shift...neither good nor bad...so that works for me I guess! I have two weeks left of mentoring to be a CDT then it's off to the confrence! I'm super excited!

I guess that's all...good night.

Sleep Deprived

So apparantly I just can't sleep at night. Two nights ago I was up until 4 am, and last night, I fell asleep around midnight...but then woke up at 2am, 3am, and 6am...what the heck!!! I just don't get it. Now I'm thouroughly exhausted....so what do we think the chances of me sleeping tonight are? Who knows...anyways I haven't posted in awhile...so here it goes!

Today at work (a really good shift by the way...it went smoothly!) I got 3 pins for my uniform! So I totally sound like the stupid geek from Office Space (the one with all the flair...oh goodness!) But it really is exciting! It made me feel like I was actually a little more than every other Joe Shmo server there at the restraunt. So I guess that's a little vain...but whatever, I got my pins and it makes me feel special! I'm going to the T3 in 3 weeks! I'm so excited! This is like the final sha-bam for becoming a CDT (Certified Designated Trainer) for Red Robin. It's fun, it would be interesting to see where this leads me. I really like Red Robin and think it's a good company...maybe it could lead to something more than just a job as a server! I've always thought I'd make a good manager? Hmmm...the wheels are turning. I don't know...there are so many freakin' doors open when it comes to choosing a career...that it just seems silly. How the heck am I ever going to pick a major? I guess something will just *click*. I should be so lucky...haha...

Anyways...Oh...Small group. Tonight went well again. It's technically the end of the semester so we're wrapping things up... and tonight we went to Dairy Queen...great fun! Next week we have off, and then the following Wednesday (5-25-05) we're having our final small group...tear! It really is amazing to see how much these kids have grown just in the year and a 1/2 I've worked with them. From little "sevies" (7th graders = I guess it's the new slang...I dont' know...it's just what they[8th graders] call them!) into graduating/promoting 8th graders....they're going to be in High School. I feel like a mom sorta...I'm getting all sentimental. Partly because I don't know if I'll be able to move up and be a High School leader? We'll just have to see. It would be awesome to get to stick with those kids and watch them graduate from H.S. Now that's a scary thought...haha

Well that wasn't too exciting of a post...but I'm really tired...see begining paragraph and my lack of sleep....So Good Night to All!

Happy Mother's day! (Me and my mom last summer!) I love you Mommy dearest!!!

Happy Mother's Day

Happy Mom's day to all you mothers/grandmothers etc....(oh...can't forget adopt-a-Colorado Mom too) out there! I hope your day was special! I called and got to talk to my mom after church and lunch [@ Noodles & Co] for about 1/2 hour so that was good! I found out that my cards didn't make it on time...so hopefully they (mom and 2 grandma's) will get them tomorrow afternoon...I guess better late than never! Hopefully they'll see it the same way =)

Work went really well tonight...it got a little bit crazy for awhile and I started to get my butt kicked...but eventually it was manageable again! Sundays really just aren't my favorite to work...but it always seems pretty busy, (at least that means there's the potential to make good money) so I don't know why so many people want them off. The only reason that I do...is because A.Church and B. it's usually my only day off, and it's the one day that Christina and I for sure get to hang out...so there. Ptttt...on everyone who doesn't want to work Sundays!

Well I guess that's all for tonight! Sleep tight and don't let the bed bugs bite...I hope I can fall asleep tonight....last night I was pretty restless and my neck was killing me...so I iced it..and it felt much better today. O.k...now I'm done!

All in all...a good day

So today can just be summed up as a good day. This morning I slept in...(i didn't have to work...yippee) and relaxed, took my time getting ready. Talked to a few friends from CA online and did other meaningless stuff on-line. I then spent some time with Courtney and Lynn, watched 1/2 of A Walk to Remember...and then got ready for work. My shift went very smoothly...I was closing cocktailer so that was cool, I did have to work with someone that I really don't care for...but that's o.k...I just phased him first! He was happy to go home early...I was happy for him to go home! It sounds so bad, but he just get's on my nerves from time to time...he talks about meaningless stuff all the time and it takes him so long to get everything out. Plus he's not really a hard worked...I always have to pick up a table for him if he get's busy...I get stuff for his tables and all that stuff...so it's just a little bit tedious. I don't dis-like him I just would rather not work with him....is that fair? Oh well if it isn't!

Anyways, yay for a great day, tomorrow should be interesting. I'm closing again. I'm thinking it will either be slow or busy being Mother's day and all...we'll just have to see. I'm off to watch the other 1/2 of Walk to Remember...or fall asleep whichever comes first. Good night!

I think it's a record!

So this is the third post in one day. I think that's the most that I've ever blogged in one day...ever! Anyways. My shift tonight went pretty smoothly. I ended up making more than I thought once everything added up at the end. So that's always a pleasant thing. This is what I have to say...I'm definitely learning more and more about people by working in this industry. (restraunt)

This is what I've learned:

1. Most people are nice and pleasant
2. Some people are grumpy and rude
3. Other people...are just plain psycho and should have limited contact with the out side world.

Thank goodness they come in that order...but I swear some people just blow my mind...and I guees you gotta love 'em because at least they make life interesting...but some times it's just exhausting. I can't really explain it per se, but it's just the whole experience all rolled into one. You put a few people from all those categories all rolled into a 3 hour time span...and you have my reaction...haha.

So with lots of inspiration from the movie 13 Going on 30...I tried Razzles today! "First it's a Candy...Then it's Gum!!!" It was very exciting to me! Whoopee! 

Just try not to think about it...

So my life is really un-eventful. (i don't think there should be a hyphen there....but it's staying there because I'm not really sure!) Really the only things that I've got going in my life are work and church. How lame. That's how I really feel....it sucks that I feel this way about my life...but I just have to be honest. I can't believe that I'm actually going to say these next few words...but I am actually looking forward to going back to school! I can't wait! It's pretty scary when your life get's so boring you can't wait to go back to school. Oh well...what can you do? Anyways, I don't really like thinking about this so I always seem to be drowning myself out in meaningless "other" activities just so I don't have to think about things. Like watching movies..which sucks...because I always end up buying them..and then I realize how much money I've wasted on movies...oh well! Why can't I be more productive with my time...I wish I was more motivated to work out...I'm semi-motivated...but it's hard to want to work out when you know that you're going to be on your feet all day at work. It's like double time...only you only work the same muscles all the time...so nothing ever get's toned, etc. Or reading...why can't I just dive into a good book...that's at least somewhat productive. My only problem is...that usually I'll be tired and then I fall asleep in the middle of the book. That's not cool. I don't know I got kinda frustrated the other day because I realized that I can't remember the last time that I actually did something "fun". I'm pumped for my trip home this summer because I'll just hang out with friends the whole time...and that will be loads of fun! [So far I've got a day at Great America planned with Katie and hopefully a trip to the beach with Maranda and Dise] But honestly...I don't want to have to go on a vacation just to have fun. That's another thing...I wish I could go on a vacation. I want to just go with a bunch of friends to like Hawaii or something. But my best friend...is married...and that just doesn't work. Blah! I need more friends who have time to hang out. I love all of my friends dearly but...I just need more! I'm in my 20's shouldn't this be the time of my life? I just don't get it. I guess everyone goes through something like this at some point..and I've heard that a lot of people freak out about being 20 and all that crap...but it just seems dumb. So I officially give life right now a big fat PPPLLLLLLLLTTTTT! =P

I guess we just have to go on and make the best of things right?!?! Speaking of which, today is a rare occasion that Christina and I are going to get to hang out...YAY! I had the morning off...so she went into admin early and we are going to have lunch! I have to work this Sunday so we probably won't get to hang out too much...plus it's Mother's day and all that jazz...speaking of which...I really need to get those cards to the mail box...I hope 2 days is enough to get them to CA! We can only hope! Anyways...that's enough ramblings for the day....Christina is calling...yeah for having a life.

Yay for Jr. High Leaders! We're so cool! 

Relaxing Day

So today was a great day! Nothing spectacular happened per se, but it was just a good day. I ended up getting my shift picked up for today because some else really wanted to work, so I was like what the heck! I picked up two other shifts this week, so it all works out. Plus this way ended up giving me one full day off! Because I was scheduled every day this week. So...it was really nice to get to sleep in and take my time getting ready and all that jazz. I took my time this morning, I started a rough draft for the patio table chart (work) and I made flyers for the girls night out event that we're going to do with the youth group. Speaking of which. Tonight was also small group (Jr. Highers) and it went SO WELL! We actually had a small group this time and it went so smoothly. People talked a little bit, but it wasn't out of control like it has been lately. It's so exciting that the kids are bringing their friends and stuff, but we get so much more accomplished when there are fewer people there. So that was great fun! Anyways, so that was my day...pretty simple...oh for lunch I went to Frazoliz's and it was wonderful (i love that place!) and I just relaxed and ate lunch and then I finally got a chance to take my spirirtual gift assessment for college group. So now I don't feel behind and I can kind of see where I fit into this whole spectum! Yay!

Anyways, that's all I really have to update for the day. Oh...I booked my flight for the summer to go home to Cali! I'll be home from the 20th of June to the 6th of July! So far I have a day @ Great America planned with Katie, and hopefully a little adventure down south to see my good pal Paradise, and to chill at the beach! I can't wait...I so want to just veg and relax and catch up with some old friends! Heck Yes!

Alrighty then...I'm really done now!

Stupid Wednesday...Gone Happy

So today started off super weird. At 6am...(no joke...I know it's hard to believe) I woke up and I was curled up in a little ball (fetal position) and I go to stretch out my legs and this shooting pain goes stabbing through my stomach. It felt like a charlie horse in your calf...only it was my stomach, I couldn't move for about a minute and it was just weird. I was finally able to roll over and get out of bed and then it started to feel better. I just have to say...where the heck did that come from? I have no clue. So anyways...I fell back asleep only to wake up again @ 8am...(this is even unsual for me these days) So I was sitting there debating whether I could actually be productive with my day and maybe get my butt out of bed and go to the gym...I settled on semi-productive and decided to read my book instead (Captivating by John and Stasi Eldridge = it's good). So I read about a chapter of that but I started to get sleepy again so I drifted off for another nap until about 10 am or so when I decided I really needed to get up for bed and start getting ready for work. I usually don't work on Wednesday mornings so I was fairly nonchalant about the whole day, didn't really matter I guess. Well after freakin' 10 minutes of trying to salvage a somewhat presentable hair do for the day I was beginning to get frustrated. Then I got to work and 1/2 of my section was taken up by another server's big top (some 87 year old's b-day, i'd be more bitter, but she was so stinkin' cute when we all sang to her) anyways...on to my grumpiness. I ended up picking up a few tables in another section (some guests wanted to sit in booths) so that was somewhat helpful at least for the bordem factor. But they ended up being crappy tippers (all but one who actually gave me a 20% tip.) Some days those just seem few and far between. But others they are pretty common...I keep having to remind myself that it all balances out in the end. Anyways...so things start to pick up and I actually get a little busy...which was kinda nice...only then another server asked me to pick up one of her tables because she was trying to get herself "out of the weeds" and that's when it all went to crap. I turned a not so big deal...into one. It would have helped if my Manager hadn't been such a crack head about it...but I can't control that so I shouldn't have let it get to me like I did...but he really just bothers me...A LOT. So back to the start of the problem. Since I picked up a table for the other server I basically got triple sat. I was doing o.k...I had gotten all their drinks and orders and things were going pretty good...until I started to see the food getting trayed up for the 6 top I had...three of those guests had ordered Fish Tacos...well being the brainiac that I was...I acidentally rang in fish&chips (the buttons are right next to each other on the computer and since I was rushed...it was an easy mistake to make...I just wish I hadn't have done it...obviously) So I caught the mistake and told the expo the problem, and he was getting it all fixed. Well Steve...the MOD doesn't do well in stressful situations and apparently whenever our restraunt has more than like 20 people in it he gets stressed...it's pretty pathetic and I don't really think he was ready to be GM of a restaraunt he had never worked in before....but what the heck do I know...I'm just a server. So Steve walks up to the tray and was like what's going on with this...Expo told him the situation... and he grumpily states, "Whose table is this" I was standing right behind him...so I said, "It's my table, I made a mistake It's totally my fault, I'm sorry." His response was...Well did you talk to the table...Maybe they would eat the fish and chips and I could just give them a discount...[ first of all I'm like...it takes 5 mins to make those fish and chips...fish tacos so let's calm the freak down....second of all...I caught the mistake before they got their food...do you want me to go and ask them if they want something the didn't order for a discount? You've got to be kidding me.] So I go to the table and tell them that the food is running a little bit long and it should be out shortly, they had no problem with that...I got them some re-fills on drinks and they were happy. Steve sees me walk by and aks me what the table said. I said they are perfectly fine waiting for their fish tacos. ARGGGHHH....He did not handle that situation well. He sounded like he was getting ready to yell at first but then when I owned up to everything he didn't know what to do with himself. He's usually really nice to me because I work really hard and don't normally make too many mistakes...but it was just dumb. I don't think that he should be our G.M and he just needs more training. He's not a bad person...he just doesn't have a lot of tact...and you really do need that as a manager. He also lacks in the area of common sense...and that's important for managing as well.

So needless to say that just pissed me off and because of my already weird day I just let it get to me. (which is something I really need to work on...I always let little things get to me and I don't know why...I'm trying to work on it...but that's easier said than done...if you know what I mean.)

Anyways, the shift got better as I got a chance to get back in my groove and cool down a little bit. I also got to vent with a few people and that always seems to help. Blah...whatever. Anyways....the day pretty much sucked, I think I walked with a woppin' 35 bucks, so that sucks a little bit, but I guess I just have to look forward to the weekend and hope it's busy. It seems like Red Robin has been on the slow side the past few weeks, but hopefully that will be changing soon here with summer just around the corner.

Blah...anyways...After work I went to the post office to mail a package to Maranda because her b-day is on Saturday! Hopefully that will be fun for her to get! It's basically just a bunch of candy and fun stuff like that...some fun little trinkets that I found that remined me of her. Then I went and got lunch @ Noodles & Co...because I was on that side of town and it had been awhile. (Maggie and I used to go there a lot for lunch when we worked @ Lakewood Dental) Then I just came home and relaxed. I haven't been feeling too hot and I was pretty tired from my off-and-on sleep attempt this morning....So that was cool...and my mood started to lighten.

Then it turned to happy because Christina (Best Friend) called and her class had been cancelled that night and she finally had time to hang out during the week! super exciting...b/c it doesn't happen too often! So I called Bobby to see if he wouldn't mind if I took the night off of Small Group (I lead a Jr. High Bible study) because he missed a few earlier in the semester and told me he owed me...so he called back and said he had no problem! Which just plain made me happy!

So...Then I went to Christina's and we watched TLC for a little while (it had been awhile for me so it was kinda fun) and then went down town for dinner @ La Fondu and a movie...A lot Like love...with Ashton Kutcher in it. It was hillarious and very cute. All in all it was a great end to a bad beginning. Yeah for sun at the end of a cloudy day....ironic as it is that it was raining tonight...but whatever.

I think this is officially the longest post I've ever written...if not...it's definitely the longest in quite awhile...but I'm tired of typing and quite frankly it's getting late so I'm going to throw on some Friends (yay for seasons on DVD) and fall asleep. I have to work again tomorrow so hopefully...that will go just a tad more smooth than today's extravaganza! yippee....off to never never land.

Good Night

Thunder

So aparently the rain isn't going to be letting up for too long (it rained all afternoon/evening yesterday). There's been about 3 loud cracks of thunder in the last like 10 mins. Yay, fun....What I can say is....at least it's not snow! hehe Nothing too exciting going on today...I've got my training for CDT today at one and then I'm working at 4 pm. yippee for that. Hopefully people will face the weather and go out to eat...I'll keep my fingers crossed.

The only man in my life...haha 

Tired....so very tired....

Today was a long day. The restraunt was super slow this morning...so my day shift was close to useless as far as making money goes...tonight was interesting...started off a tad rocky...then it got better...but I'm just tired. Oh well. I have tomorrow off, and I'll work on my CDT training, prepare a message for Sunday, and then go out with Maggie and Jaclyn for dinner/drinks. Hopefully that will be fun! I'm off to never land!

It's Official!!!

So yesterday morning I had my informational meeting/ interview with an assistant manager @ Red Robin to become a CDT...and as of last night, it's official! I'm going through the program and I'm doing it!!! Yeah!!! I'm really excited! I've learned to enjoy the corniness that is Red Robin, and all it's little quirks! I'm really excited that I'm taking this next step up the ladder too! So all in all this weekend has been pretty top notch! I start training tomorrow around 1! Yip Skip. Hopefully it's all it's cracked up to be!

Today went well...

So my opening shift went really smoothly...the meeting to become a CDT is on Saturday morning! Yip Skip! I also picked up another shift tonight, so it's been a long day! Tomorrow, I work in the morning and then I get to hang out with Christina for awhile, and then we're going to Michelle D's Jr. Piano Recital then out to Chili's for our famous ritual of chips...salsa...queso....and multon lava cake! Yippee! Can't wait!

Exciting!!!

So today, I'm opening at Red Robin!!! I wasn't scheduled to open but I picked up a shift, and it's really exciting because it will hopefully show them that I'm capable of the responsibilities that go along with opening and having those "better" sections @ the Restruant. It seems really silly, and I'm sure it'll be like every other day there...but it's exciting! Plus it will confirm that they want me to be a CDT. Yippee! Anyways....that's all I have for this morning! I hope the shift goes well, should be great fun.

Hope

I wish there was a way to describe in words all that the word "hope" entails. For me it's not just a word, or an expression; it goes deeper than that. It's like peace in that you know that things will work out, but it's more than that...because there is suspense and excitement: the unknown. I don't really understand everything that the word means, but I know I both need and have it...and it's part of why I'm alive today.

These were some of dictonary.com's definitions...

1.To wish for something with expectation of its fulfillment.
2. Archaic. To have confidence; trust.
3.To look forward to with confidence or expectation:
4. To expect and desire.
5. A wish or desire accompanied by confident expectation of its fulfillment.
6. Something that is hoped for or desired: Success is our hope.
7. One that is a source of or reason for hope: the team's only hope for victory.
8. Often Hope Christianity. The theological virtue defined as the desire and search for a future good, difficult but not impossible to attain with God's help.
9. Archaic. Trust; confidence.

that's all...

Arent' we just too cute! 

So dumb...

So I had this huge long blog entry typed up about Katie and my's weekend of fun when she was here for easter....I went to publish it and all of the sudden the server was down or some mumbo jumbo like that....so I was like..I'm not typing all of that again...so you can read about our weekend on Katie's blog http://livefrombayloruniversity.blogspot.com She left out getting pedicures and me freaking her out with my choice of Hot Pink! Hehe. (to give her some slack she was bombarded with pink as a young child since her b-day is Valentine's day...so I guess she can hate it....)

So there you have it...that was our weekend!

Katie is Here!!!

My cousin Katie is here from Texas, and it's so exciting! We haven't had many chances to spend good quality time with each other in a long time, and we're definitely making up for lost time! Hehe. It's been snowing so that's a little bit sad....but tomorrow it's supposed to be snowy. It's also cool....just because Katie doesn't get to see snow that often! So yipee for that! I'll give a synopsis of our weekend later! I'm just so happy she's here!

Denver: My life in a snow globe!

So after a few lovely days of 50/60 degree weather...Denver pulled a fast one on us and it is now snowing (as it has been for the last 24 hours!) So crazy...anyways, I was sitting in my car on my way to Wal-Mart to pick up pictures...and I realized that I now know what it feels like to be in a snow globe. It was coming down fast with a little bit of wind...so it looked cool and reminded me of those rather pointless decorations! Haha...yay for useless information! Anyway, work has been going really well, and it is fun to know that my hard work is appreciated. It's been awhile since that's happened! It's not anywhere close to what I want to do with my life...but it's great for now! Honestly I'm making exactly the same if not more than what I made @ stupid lakewood dental associates, so I'm so happy! And for goodness sakes...I'm 20 years old, who ever said that I had to be so focused on my career...I'll be doing that for the rest of my life. So for now I'm perfectly content! Yippee!

My cousin/bestest pal Katie is coming to town in 10 days and I CAN'T WAIT!!! I'm so excited to spend an entire weekend with her that I just can't help but be extatic! (spelling?) I just hope that the snow goes away and gives us a nice beautiful weekend so we can have lots of fun! Not that we wouldn't anyways...but you know...it's more fun when the sun is shinning! Now I just have to figure out lots of fun stuff for us to do!

Anyways, I think that's about all the excitement that I have to report about today. I'm going to attempt to go to sleep early tonight...but I have my doubts that will work...because it hasn't been lately. My goal is 11pm....we'll see if it happens! Sweet dreams everyone!

My new hair color! I love it! 

I'M SO BORED.....

I am so incredibly bored...my day has been unproductive, and I don't want to do anything that I need to get done. This is a dumb day....and it's cold outside...(that really has nothing to do with my being unproductive though...) Did I mention that I was bored....only I'm finding all of these nonsense things to do....so dumb...whatever....hopefully tomorrow will be better!

Mystery

You know how you meet some people and you never can tell what they are thinking, or how they feel about you....it's just frustrating! There's someone like that in my life right now, and I wish I could just read their mind. It would make things so much easier. That's all I have to say right now....

"Friends are God's way of taking care of us." - annonymous quote 

Able to smile again...

I just have to say...Life is good.

Things I'm thankful for....

*not getting up at 6 am every weekday

*not being super stressed out about work

*not working for a bad company

*feeling appreciated

*having great friends!

*My family

*My adopted family

*God's mystery

*Colorado

*New opportunities

*Laughing at myself

*Time...to grow, to experience life, and to learn

Beauty

You should see the stars tonight
How the shimmer and shine so bright
Against the black they look so white
Come on down from such a height
To reach me now.
You reach me now.

You should see the morning flight
cutting cross the misty night
softly dancing in sunshine
reflections of this light.

you reach me now
you reach me now

how could such a thing
shine it's light on me.
and make everything...beautiful again

You should feel the sun in spring
Coming out after a rain
Suddenly all is green
Sunshine on everything.

i can feel it now
I can feel you now

How could such a thing
Shine it's light on me
And make everything beautiful

And you should hear the angels sing
All gathered 'round there king
More beautiful than you could dream
I've been quietly listening

I can hear them now.
I hear them now.

How can such a King
Shine his light on me
And make everything...beautiful

And I want to shine
I want to be light.
I want to tell you it'll be alright.
I want to shine
I want to fly
Just to tell you now, it'll be alright.

it'll be alright.
it'll be alright.

Cuz i got nothin' on my own to give to you
But this light that shines on me, shines on you.
And makes everything beautiful again.

IT'LL BE ALRIGHT
IT'LL BE ALRIGHT.
***David Crowder Band "Stars"***

No matter what happens, I'll be alright, if nothing else in the world I have the beauty of God's creation. But he has blessed me with so much more than that. God is amazing even when life falls off it's axis.

Heaven's to Murgatroid

So it's been about a month since I wrote that last entry... Anways swing dancing is a blast and I want to learn how to do it really bad (because I really had no clue what I was doing!!!)....I tried to make it my new year's resolution, but that hasn't been going too well. Whatever - it's not like I ever stuck to any other one that I've made. Such is life!!!

The latest update is that I'm putting in my 2 weeks notice tomorrow at work(Lakewood Dental Associates). Today was a miserable day for me and I've had it. I'm tired of going home unhappy. Every day I wake up and try to have a positive attitude and look-out on the day. Then it get's squished, ripped, battern, torn and just absolutely mangled every day that I'm there....

The kicker for me was getting off work and feeling irritated that I had to go to small group tongiht. I ABSOLUTELY love going there and being with those kids, and to have the feeling that I was frustrated to go hang out with them makes me feel so sick to my stomach. The fact that I'd rather sit in my room and just try to sleep it all off or watch a movie is just disgusting. I just can't stand being so unhappy, and I've tried so hard to ignore my issues, but the problems conflict with some of the things that I believe are so heavily instilled in my heart that I just can't ignore them. Things should be done right and fairly, and it's just not happening.

My letter of resignation is signed and I think that I'm finally ready to cut this cord out of my life. I've been nervous because I don't have another job lined up to replace the one that I'm leaving, but there was something that I learned this summer @ Base camp that keeps ringing in my head, and that is that God is Real and he wants me to LIVE. And part of that requires me to have faith that he will provide for me. I might have to change a few things in my lifestyle, but it will all work out in the end. His will will be done. What ever happens is in his hands now, and I'm finally ready to trust him...am I saying that it doesn't terrify me...no...I'm scared, but I have both peace and hope to balance out the fear!

Anyways, Small group made me so happy tonight. These kids are so much fun. They talk far too much....but what can you really expect...hehe I can't wait to see what God has in store to teach them and our entire group this semester. It should be fun...it usually is!

Well on that note, I leave myself hoping for sunnier days ahead! I can't wait to be happy in the work place. I'm thrilled with the rest of my life....it's just this one part that I can't seem to cut out that is just bringing me down. It gives me the chills just to think about how frustrated I am. BLAH....I'm going to try to get back in the habbit of writing in this thing...it seems to come in spirtz! Happy days ahead, PRAISE GOD FOR EVERY DAY NO MATTER HOW BAD IT STINKS!!!